A Little-Known Way Your Own Childhood Trauma May Affect Your Toddler
“My two-year-old keeps falling down when he tries to walk.”
“My son is almost 24 months old, but all he can say is “mama” and “dada.”
“She just turned two, and she still can’t follow the simplest instruction.”
When your toddler misses a developmental milestone, it’s natural to fret – after all, in rare cases such delays may be a sign of an underlying condition, such as autism spectrum disorder.
But recent research suggest that some delays may have a more surprising explanation, one that spans generations.
In a study headed by Alonzo Folger, PhD, of the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center in Ohio, researchers found that children are more likely to miss developmental milestones by the age of two if their parents suffered traumatic events during their own childhood.
“We are just beginning to learn how these early life insults may have developmental health implications for the next generation,” Folger said.
Folger and the other study authors found a significant association between parents’ Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and an increased risk of delayed development among toddlers.
The researchers, who screened parents of toddlers at a four-month check-up, found an 18% higher risk with each extra ACE in mothers, and a similar trend in fathers. The study also found children of mothers with three or more ACEs more than twice as likely to have a high risk for a developmental delay across many areas, including communication, problem-solving, and motor skills.
The study, released in Pediatrics this April, helps underscore the value of parental ACEs screening.
Parenting with ACEs
What can parents with ACEs take away from this study?
“The main point of this study for parents is to be intentional with their parenting, especially if they have experienced many ACEs in their childhood,” co-author Emily Eismann, M.S., told Stress Health. “It’s unclear how much risk is passed on through nature versus nurture, but regardless, we know that nurturing is healing.”
Eismann noted there are simple things that parents can do to protect, support, and heal their child’s development.
“First, it’s important that parents take good care of themselves,” Eismann said in an email. “They can do this by getting sleep and exercise, eating nutritious food, doing deep breathing, yoga, or other mindfulness practices, and building their network of healthy, supportive relationships. These things can help parents to calm themselves down when stressed so that they can respond to their child in a nurturing way. Children benefit from all of these things as well.”
“Parents can also support their child’s development,” Eismann said, “by helping them to feel physically and emotionally safe, by creating consistent routines for their child, by making eye contact with them, by talking to them, by spending quality one-on-one time with them, by being attentive and responsive to their physical and emotional needs, and by encouraging them and praising them.”
If parents have a high ACE score and feel realize their childhood trauma is making it harder for them to parent in a calm and nurturing way, what other steps should they take?
“If a parent has a high ACE score, I think it’s important that they know that it’s not their fault and that healing is possible for them and beneficial for their child,” Eismann said. “They may find it helpful to reflect on what they did and did not like about the way they were parented and how that impacts the way that they are parenting their own child now. “
“Parents may also want to learn more about healthy parenting practices that they may not have experienced themselves as well as what to expect of their child at different ages of development,” according to Eismann. Some potential resources often mentioned by doctors include peer-to-peer parent coaching, parenting classes or support groups, and even books on parenting and child development recommended by health providers.
Consider Talking to Your Family Doctor or Pediatrician
Co-author RJ Gillespie, MD, agreed that an important step for parents with ACEs is to raise their concerns with their pediatrician, “but to be patient if their provider is less than familiar with ACEs and how that might impact parenting. A provider who is willing to partner with parents who have experienced trauma can be a great ally and can be a bridge to resources for families, whether that is just listening to a parent’s story, or connecting families with parenting resources and support.”
“That said, there is a lot of healing that happens just from being aware that ACEs might impact parenting,” Gillespie added. “Sometimes the reactions that we experience to our toddlers are so automatic and visceral that we don’t take the time to understand where they are coming from.
“For example, if you were yelled at a lot as a kid, how would a baby with colic make you feel? How do you respond to a toddler that hits or bites if physical abuse was a part of your history? While some of these reactions may feel hard-wired, parents are always in a position to learn and do things differently,” Gillespie said. “Reaching out for support – connecting with friends, providers, or other people who “have your back” – is an important first step for this.”
For more about the study, please see our short Q and A.
--DIana Hembree is a science reporter at the Center for Youth Wellness. She has written and/or edited for many other news outlets, including Time Inc. Health, Hippocrates magazine, and HealthDay, the country’s leading health and medical news service.
References
Assessing Developmental Delays. HealthyChildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/Assessing-Developmental-Delays.aspx
Folger AT, Eismann EA, Stephenson NB, et al. Parental Adverse Childhood Experiences and Offspring Development at 2 Years of Age. Pediatrics. 2018;141(4):e20172826
Folger, A. T., Putnam, K. T., Putnam, F. W., Peugh, J. L., Eismann, E. A., Sa, T., ... &
Ammerman, R. T. (2017). Maternal Interpersonal Trauma and Child Social‐Emotional Development: An Intergenerational Effect. Paediatric and perinatal epidemiology, 31(2), 99-107.
Learn the Signs, Act Early. Important Milestones: Your Child By Two Years. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-2yr.html
