Mindfulness for the Busy Caregiver
Children exposed to ACEs may have more difficulty with impulse control when faced with stressful situations. Mindfulness exercises can really help. Mindful parenting can help improve your child’s behavior and build their resilience. Here’s a quick mindfulness exercise to incorporate into your own day, and one to work on with your kids:
How to self-regulate when facing a challenging situation:
1. Stop. Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now?
2. Take a Breath. Ask yourself: “Am I breathing too fast right now or holding my breath? Can I take a deep breath?”
3. Observe. Ask yourself: “What else am I feeling in my body? What are my thoughts right now?”
4. Proceed. Ask yourself: “Am I OK with what happens next if I ____?”
Decide to respond in a way that works best for you.
How to teach your kids to self-regulate:
When you notice your child is upset, ask, “How are you feeling?”
Listen to what they are saying and help them name their feelings. EXAMPLE: “I hear that you wanted to go out in the street and get that ball. It sounds like you are really angry that I didn’t let you go in the street to get it.
Acknowledge how hard it is being a kid. EXAMPLE: “I know it’s hard being 3 years old and not being able to do everything you want to do.”
Help them examine consequences, e.g. “If you do_________ then_________ can happen.”EXAMPLE: “If you run out into the street by yourself, you might get hit by a car and that would really hurt you.”
Offer them an alternative. EXAMPLE: “How about we go get the ball together? You can hold my hand and we’ll look for cars before we go into the street so we don’t get hurt.”
These exercises will help you and your kids respond rather than react to stressful situations.
Belly breathing is another simple mindfulness strategy you can teach your children and use to relax yourself as well:
Have your child sit or lie down.
Have your child place one hand over the belly, the other hand over the chest.
Model how to inhale through the nose and feel the belly push out.
Exhale through the mouth and feel the belly pull in.
Continue modeling this deep breathing until your child understands.
Repeat three to five times.
Make it fun by pretending to blow out a candle or that you’re blowing up a balloon as they inhale and exhale. You can also have your child hold a stuffed animal on his belly and watch it move up and down while they breathe deeply. These “breathing buddies” can help children see and feel what deep breathing looks like, so that both their brains and bodies remember. If children get used to belly breathing at a young age, they may carry this healthy ritual into the rest of their lives.
